Remembering who I am
Ahh, there’s nothing like going home to get a refresher on who I am.
I’m grateful that my parents have built a home environment where I can always be free to be myself. Whenever I go home, I’m zapped into a sanctuary of memories and comfort, supported by people who know me most intimately. For fun, they even echo our childhood sayings and “isms” as if they’re timeless.
My old room has become a small office, but my parents have kept on the walls the artwork I did from way back when I was young. I studied them this time and was amazed at how artistically creative I used to be. In late elementary school I started drawing various caricatures illustrating personas I’d observed randomly in public, and I painted interesting images personifying the alphabet. I remember that even the bowl of fruit and melting popsicle watercolor paintings were from imagination and not from copying any live models. As I got older, I explored the creative elements of black and white photography — photojournalism back when the storytelling included our work in the dark rooms and developing pictures by hand!
My old room showcases my artistic interests, but yet ironically I didn’t pursue any fine arts throughout high school or beyond. Last year when I picked up an oil painting class for fun, I learned that I’m good at copying an existing image, but I’m paralyzed when given a blank canvas plus the freedom of expression. So I sat there in my room thinking, “Very interesting how I’ve changed through the decades.” It felt a bit sad to have wasted it.
But I realized that it’s simply evolved… creativity paint is still splashed all over my life. From my MacGyver tendencies in fixing things around the home, to what my husband calls “being scrappy” in finding amazing deals, to doing a Dramatic Arts minor back in college, to spending time making and giving thoughtful gifts, to consulting for entrepreneurial friends, to how I customize every curriculum for each client I coach… there is NO sign of limit to my creative expression!
I’m still me, and I could see it all over that room, even though “I” was still being formed back then and even though I haven’t lived there in over 15 years. There was a lot of Truth, joy, and life on display, created over the years.
I’m glad I got to visit home again. Thank you, Lord, for affirming who I am. What an unexpected treat. :)